


Beta Pains

by writersstudy



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bigotry & Prejudice, Gen, also all platonic, it's an allegory for privilege, this ended up much more johnny centric than originally planned, use of rape jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25721518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writersstudy/pseuds/writersstudy
Summary: Johnny had always wished he was an alpha, like everyone thought he was supposed to be.
Relationships: Suh Youngho | Johnny & Qian Kun
Comments: 7
Kudos: 96
Collections: Johnkun Fic Fest Round 1 (2020)





	Beta Pains

**Author's Note:**

> Written for JohnKun Fic Fest 2020, Prompt H016
> 
> This ended up platonic and much more Johnny-focused than I originally planned on making it, but I'm actually pretty happy with the way it turned out! Also all of the Twitter handles are things I made up, so I apologize if someone actually has any of them.

Johnny was the only beta trainee in the entire company. He always had been. In the five years he’d been there, he’d seen numerous alphas come and go, debuting either there or with a different company. There were a few omegas too, but they never got put in groups. Instead, they would debut as soloists and were never allowed to train with the others.

Waste of a beta, that’s what the others would call him when they thought he wasn’t listening. Johnny had the body of an alpha, tall and strong, but none of the aggression, none of the confidence. He wished he had presented as an alpha. At least then he’d be able to be assertive and stand up for himself without being accused of trying too hard. He’d be able to lead the group and help the younger trainees without being shoved into the feminized caretaking role of a beta. Johnny’s body didn’t match what people expected of him and the lack of confidence it instilled was a large part of why he hadn’t debuted yet.

Finally, after five years of waiting, he got pulled and put in with a group of alphas to prepare to debut. He knew them all, of course, they’d all been there forever. It was a surprising lineup. After all, everyone knew that Ten and Taeyong didn’t get along in the slightest, both a bit too aggressive and quick to anger. Jaehyun was fine; he was physically domineering enough that no one ever questioned or crossed him, but he never seemed to use that to get his way on purpose. Mark was young, just recently presented, and still trying to handle the bodily changes that came with being an alpha. And then there was Johnny, tall, gangly, meek Johnny, who wanted so desperately to fit in. Somehow, they made it work. Or well, they did, until another trainee was suddenly added to the mix.

They’d all seen Kun around. He wore scent blockers, like most omegas did when they were at the company building, so he was slated to debut as a soloist, a ballad singer. Imagine everyone’s surprised when it was suddenly revealed that Kun was in fact an alpha. He was swiftly pulled from his original debut plans and put in their group instead.

Kun was quiet, but there was a certain confidence to his spine that Johnny hadn’t seen before. He kept his cool to both Ten and Taeyong challenging him during their first practice as six, merely standing and waiting until they both ran out of testosterone and moved on.

He intrigued Johnny. Kun was nothing like the typical alpha. Sure, he held himself confidently, but he was quiet and easily followed behind others. Johnny also knew that there were a number of younger trainees that Kun looked out for on the daily. He was the oldest Chinese trainee in the company and made it his duty to take the others under his wing. If Johnny didn’t know any better, he would have thought Kun was a beta with how adept he was at caretaking. Of course he would be both a better alpha and a better beta than Johnny.

Debut was swiftly approaching and everyone was positive that Taeyong was going to get chosen as the leader. He had the most lines in their debut song, he led most of the dance practices as the main dancer, and he was the oldest after Johnny. There was no way they would make a beta the leader, so Taeyong was a no brainer, until he wasn’t.

“Kun?! Are you kidding me?!” Taeyong raged, “how is he supposed to lead? He’s barely even an alpha!” Their manager looked on, unimpressed, as the dancer stormed back and forth, ranting about how Kun wasn’t fit to be the leader.

“Taeyong-ssi,” he said finally, “have you considered that this level of aggression is _why_ they didn’t pick you to be the leader? Kun is levelheaded, non-confrontational, and already has experience guiding other trainees.”

“That’s beta shit,” Taeyong said derisively, “if that was the criteria, they might as well have given the position to _Johnny_.” Across the room, Jaehyun snorted, as if the prospect of Johnny being in charge was the funniest thing he had heard all day. Johnny frowned. That hurt.

“Hey, don’t take this out on Johnny just because you’re upset,” Kun said, finally stepping in, “Johnny’s really good at what he does and he’s going to inspire a lot of young betas to do what we do. You don’t have to be so mean, Taeyong.” The older alpha rounded on him with a sneer.

“ _Don’t_ tell me what to do,” he snapped, “you are _not_ my leader. Beta piece of shit.” With that, he grabbed his bag and stalked off, slamming the door behind him. The manager sighed, rubbing his forehead.

“The rest of you can go,” he said finally, “I’ll deal with Taeyong in the morning.” They had gone back to the dorm after that. If Johnny was a little quieter than normal, no one seemed to notice.

Taeyong had eventually gotten over himself when Kun asked him to continue leading dance practices like he had been. They all knew that the Chinese alpha was the better public speaker anyway, and that was really the important quality for a leader. They all continued working hard and at long last, debut was upon them.

Johnny had been scared the moment the first teaser photo went out. As the oldest member, his photo was the second one to drop, right after Kun’s. He managed to avoid looking at the comments himself, but they got to him anyway, with the others insisting on reading them off. He’d been shirtless in his photo with just a vest to cover him, which meant that all the comments were even worse than they would’ve been.

“Someone asked if the company got Johnny’s and Kun’s profiles backwards,” Jaehyun guffawed, hanging upside down off of the couch in their dorm, “because there’s no way Johnny’s a beta with a body like that. _Please_.”

“Jaehyun, I thought we agreed that we were only going to read positive comments,” Kun said, cocking an eyebrow.

“That is positive!” the younger vocalist said indignantly, “who wouldn’t want to be thought of as an alpha?”

“Blood status isn’t something that people can control,” Kun said patiently, “so it isn’t very nice to tell people that they were born the wrong way, regardless of what your opinion on it is. You can keep those thoughts to yourself. I highly doubt that Johnny wants to hear them.”

“God, okay, whatever,” Jaehyun muttered, “way to be a fuckin’ snowflake.” On the other side of the room, Johnny, who had been trying to ignore the conversation, felt his eye twitch.

Of course, his self-control only lasted so long. The night before their music video officially dropped, he was too anxious to sleep, so he found himself lying awake in bed, scrolling through one of the biggest cesspools on the internet, Twitter. He mostly followed the news and some friends from home, but it didn’t take long before he saw his name pop up on his timeline.

> @puppyty  
>  SM really picked the worst possible member to pretend to be a beta. This is what happens when you beg companies for representation: people are forced to act like things they’re not.

Johnny was astounded. People really thought that the company was forcing him to pretend to be a beta? He quickly searched up his name, wondering just how many people felt the same way.

> @foreignswag99  
>  Watch SM have Johnny suddenly present late
> 
> @betajjh  
>  What kind of weak ass representation is this? Johnny’s so clearly an alpha. Is it really that hard for SM to give us an actual beta?
> 
> @tensgapingasshole  
>  Just wait until they start doing interviews. There’s no way Johnny will be able to hide his alpha instincts.
> 
> @neosbaby  
>  I can’t believe people are trying to drag Kun and say he’s a beta just because they don’t like Johnny. Anyway Johnny baby you can come clean, it’s okay to be an alpha
> 
> @kickinit  
>  Why would Johnny put in so much effort to pass as an alpha and a dominant one at that just to turn around and tell everyone he’s an alpha anyway. Like what’s the fucking point.

Johnny scrolled through hundreds of similar tweets, all calling him fake or ragging on the company. Some had even spread a petition to make the company tell the truth, whatever that meant. He had hoped there might be a few supportive ones sprinkled in between, but he didn’t see any, not until he reached the very bottom of the feed.

> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  So y’all will accept that Taeyong’s twinky omega-looking ass is an alpha, no problem, but can’t possibly imagine that Johnny’s actually a beta? Just say you hate betas and go.

He hurriedly clicked on the account. It seemed to be a group of beta kpop fans, dedicated to normalizing betas in the industry and protecting each other from people who spoke against them. Here, Johnny found the supportive tweets. He scrolled through, looking at all of the words of support.

> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  “Clear the searches” but calling Kun a beta isn’t an insult? I’ll say it: kun beta kun beta kun beta kun beta kun beta
> 
> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  @ all the betas in my mentions calling Johnny bad rep, please take your internal betaphobia and leave me alone
> 
> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  WAIT OHMYG OD JOHNNY BETA????? JOHNNY BETA JOHNNY BETA JOHNNY BETA

A slow smile crept onto Johnny’s face as he kept scrolling. Sure, it was only a tiny pocket of the internet, and clearly an unpopular one at that, but it was a pocket that liked him for him. One tweet in particular caught his eye.

> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  I know Johnny won’t see this ever but I just want him to know how much he means to me and other beta fans, especially since he’s not everyone’s stereotypical beta. He proves every day that betas can look however they want and still be betas. I really hope Neo has a lot of success. He deserves it.

Johnny nearly started crying just from that one comment alone. It made him really happy to know that there were people out there who really did support him for who he was. He quickly liked the tweet and followed the account. His account was private, so they wouldn’t know it was actually him and he could hopefully get a daily dose of positivity. He went to sleep with a smile on his face.

Unfortunately, that happiness didn’t last long. With debut came interviews and variety shows. The interviews weren’t so bad. Johnny would answer one question about how he felt being the first beta idol and let Kun handle the rest. It was variety shows that really bothered him. The hosts, who were inevitably always older alpha men, would make rude jokes about Johnny’s status, usually by asking Mark if Johnny reminded him of his mom or Jaehyun if he felt bad that Johnny’s arms were bigger than his. They were rookies, so Johnny was expected to just take it and laugh. By the end of filming, Johnny wanted nothing more than to go home and go to bed. The only saving grace was the beta support account, which always ripped the variety show hosts into pieces.

By the time they reached the end of promotions, Johnny’s entire demeanor had changed. He was hyperaware of his body, moreso than he had been before, and calculated every movement he made before he made it. The stereotype of betas was that they were shy, stable, parental figures where alphas and omegas were both emotional. He had to be careful about how often he hid himself in the back of the group, how well he was presented his thoughts and feelings on his face without giving away his discomfort, and how much he doted on the younger members. Johnny was supposed to be the star beta who showed that his blood status could succeed in this industry, and that wouldn’t work very well if he wasn’t the stereotypical beta.

He shouldn’t have done it. Really, Johnny should have known better. The show was live, there was no way that what he said could be edited out, and he wouldn’t be surprised if the company decided to pull him from the group. He had just been so _angry_.

They had been on a variety show, promoting their first comeback. It was Johnny’s least favorite, if he was being honest. The hosts were crude and crass, fifty-year-old men trying to keep their names in the tabloids. They had been trying to crack jokes about Johnny as a beta and most of the members were easily feeding into it. The longer it went on, the more disgusting the jokes got. Johnny couldn’t keep himself from looking uncomfortable and disgusted, especially as they began dragging omegas into it too. Even Kun seemed to want to protest.

“He must put up quite the fight when you remind him of his place, right?” the host was saying, “he tried so hard for those muscles, he most know how to use them.” Johnny felt his jaw clench, but he forced himself not to react, for the good of the group. But when the next words fell out of the host’s mouth, his control snapped.

“At least he can’t get pregnant from it though, right?” _Crack_. Johnny didn’t even know that he had it in him to punch someone, but the host was on the ground clutching his broken nose while Johnny stood there with a throbbing hand. The producers were running around, frantically trying to shut off the feed and find a medic. Kun had turned toward Johnny, appeasing look on his face, but the beta had just stalked off set. He grabbed his things from the dressing room and left the shoot, not even bothering to check in with the manager.

Somehow he had made it back to the building their dorm was in without being recognized. He knew he’d be in for it the moment he went home, so he was on the roof instead. Of course, he could only stay off of Twitter for so long.

> @foreignswag99  
>  tw: rape jokes // I cannot believe those hosts would imply that the alphas in neo would assault their own member. Poor Mark.
> 
> @tensgapingasshole  
>  I’m ngl I didn’t know betas could punch like that
> 
> @beatjjh  
>  If Johnny doesn’t get kicked out of neo after that, I’ll eat my left shoe
> 
> @neosbaby  
>  The rest of neo is really gonna suffer now because Johnny couldn’t handle a few crude jokes
> 
> @puppyty  
>  There’s no way sm can continue pretending that Johnny’s not an alpha after that

Tears pricked Johnny’s eyes. The fans were right. There was no way Johnny would be allowed to remain, and even if he left, his actions would still reflect upon the rest of the group for the rest of their careers. He quickly clicked onto the beta account, wondering what they were saying.

> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  I hate neo I hate neo I hate neo I! Hate! Neo! (except you johnny you’re perfect and I love you)
> 
> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  all of the variety show hosts have been disgusting, but these two are just the worst. None of this is johnny’s fault. Thread
> 
> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  tw rape, rape jokes // the fact that they basically said the others can and should “put him in his place”??? disgusting. Blood status doesn’t give anyone the right to assault or abuse others tf?????
> 
> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  these hosts have always been disgusting about omegas and this just proves that the only reason they were never gross about betas before was because they never thought about them
> 
> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  also where tf was the rest of neo? I know everyone’s saying kun looked uncomfy too but he didn’t say anything.
> 
> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  if the rest of neo were truly supportive of johnny, they would’ve shut down the very first host to make a joke and especially these ones. Idc if they’re rookies. They have the platform to do it and they didn’t.
> 
> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  and where has sm been? What’s the point of debuting the first beta idol if you’re going to openly not support them? They should be blacklisting these hosts and suing malicious commenters
> 
> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  instead they’re probably gonna make johnny apologize and pull him from the group to try and save neo’s image
> 
> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  idk if I can stan anymore honestly. I’ll always support johnny but I can’t keep giving my money to a company and a group that clearly hates betas so much
> 
> @kpopbetafansupport  
>  [rest]

Johnny didn’t get the chance to scroll through the other replies because the door to the roof burst open.

“Johnny?” It was Kun, “oh, Johnny, there you are, thank goodness. I was so worried when you stormed off like that; no one knew where you were.” Johnny snorted.

“Did they even care?” he muttered. Kun took that with grace and chose not to respond to it.

“Find My Friends said you were in the building somewhere so I figured you were up here,” he said instead, “manager hyung is downstairs with a PR person. They want to talk to you.” Of course they did. Johnny forced himself up off the ground and followed Kun downstairs. When they reached the apartment door, he hesitated.

“Can you maybe keep the other four away for now?” he asked, imploring to Kun as his leader for the first time, “I don’t think I’m emotionally equipped to handle them right now.”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Kun said, “don’t blow them off though. Mark is pretty upset.” Johnny nodded. Kun went inside first and Johnny waited in the hall until the leader had sent him a text that it was okay for him to come in. He found the manager and the company representative waiting in the kitchen.

“Johnny,” the manager said, looking relieved. The beta had the decency to apologize to the older man. It wasn’t fair to have run off on him like that.

“So the company has decided that we can no longer allow this behavior to go unaddressed,” the representative said, jumping right into it, “we’re going to be blacklisting any shows that hire those hosts, for all of our artists, and if you’d like, we can pursue litigation against them for sexual harassment.” Johnny was astounded.

“Why now?” he asked, “why not six months ago when all this shit started?”

“You didn’t ask us to,” the representative said simply, “we can only come to your defense on these things if you want it and you never said anything.”

“I didn’t even think it was an option,” Johnny said, “I’m a rookie and a beta, I should expect it, no?”

“It’s company policy,” the representative said, beginning to look more angered, “the less we mention it as an option, the less people will try to pursue it as an option, which looks better for us because we aren’t suing people all the time. I don’t write the policy. If I did, that would not be it.” Johnny nodded in understanding.

“What about malicious commenters?” he asked.

“What about them?” the representative said patiently.

“I don’t really care about most of what they say, but there’s a lot that seem to think I’m actually an alpha and that the company is forcing me to pretend to be a beta for diversity points,” Johnny said, “I want that to stop.”

“We can make a statement about that,” the representative said, “you would be allowed to write your own statement on the matter as well, although the company will review it before you’re allowed to post it.”

“I understand,” Johnny said quietly, “thank you.” He was still in a bit of shock. The fact that he wasn’t going to be kicked out and the company was even going to stand up for him was surprising. He had figured that they would take the easy way out, but they hadn’t. He cleared up a few more things with the representative before she and their manager both left. All that was left was to talk to his group members, but he didn’t think he could handle that at the moment. Instead, he snuck into the shower and texted Kun that it was all clear. He was able to wash up and sneak into his bed without running into the others. He knew he could only avoid it so long, but he would take all the time he could get.

The next morning, Kun greeted them all with the news that their schedules had been cancelled for the day. Unfortunately for Johnny, that meant he had no more excuses to avoid The Talk. Kun had never seemed particularly aggressive to him, but he could tell from the look in the leader’s eyes that he’d get a reaming if he tried to escape again. After breakfast, they all gathered in the living room, Johnny in the recliner and the others on the couch or on the floor.

“What happened yesterday was unacceptable,” Kun started, “not only the behavior of the hosts, but also the behavior of this group. All five of us should have come to Johnny’s defense and we didn’t.”

“I don’t need you to defend me,” Johnny protested.

“Clearly,” Kun said, “you fractured his entire face. We know you can take care of yourself, but you shouldn’t have to. None of us should have to. We’re supposed to be a team and we’ve been really shit at acting like one.” The rest of the group at least had the decency to look somewhat ashamed.

“I really didn’t think the jokes would ever go that far,” Ten said quietly, “we would never do that to you, Johnny, you know that right?”

“I know,” Johnny said, “I never said anything because we’re rookies and I didn’t want to jeopardize our careers more than my existence already does.”

“Don’t say that,” Jaehyun said sharply.

“It’s true,” Johnny said with a shrug, “Neo would be doing a lot better if I wasn’t here. You’re all super talented. You deserve to have careers that aren’t ruined by your proximity to a beta.”

“We all knew what we were signing up for,” Jaehyun said, shaking his head, “we’ve known it for years. The company wouldn’t have kept you on and taken the risk of debuting you if they didn’t think it was worth it.”

“Have you looked at the fancafe?” Taeyong asked, lifting his head off of his knees, “there’s a lot of people that are supporting you, and the company is banning the ones that aren’t. You deserve to be here and have this career just as much as the rest of us. We’re not entitled to any level of success just because of our blood status.”

“Are you really saying that to me?” Johnny asked, “all of you have said the same sort of prejudiced shit to me that all these hosts have, except Kun. You really expect me to believe that _now_ you’re all allies?”

“We should have defended you,” Jaehyun acknowledged, “careers be damned, and we’re sorry that we didn’t. We’re still unlearning a lot of stuff and we’ll probably have a lot of shit to apologize for, but we are trying.”

“We owe Kun an apology too,” Taeyong said softly, “or at least, I do. There’s nothing wrong with being a beta, obviously, and it was rude of me, to both Johnny and Kun, to insinuate that being one would make a bad leader and to use it as an insult.”

“You don’t have to forgive us yet,” Ten said, “or ever, if you don’t want. We’re all going to issue public apologies to our beta fans and do our readings and our research to be better.” The rest of the alphas nodded and Johnny sighed.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he said, but he knew his tone said that he’d already chosen to forgive them. This was his team and he knew that they hadn’t meant any harm in repeating the behaviors they’d grown up learning. He really hoped that they put in the effort to improve. It didn’t slip his notice that Mark hadn’t said anything, but with how upset the youngest looked, Johnny knew that he was remorseful.

“Can I just talk to Kun alone?” Johnny asked. The other alphas left the room, all mumbling their apologies to Johnny as they went. Mark gave him a hug.

“I know you put them up to it,” Johnny said once it was just him and Kun, “you didn’t have to do that.”

“I did,” Kun insisted, “you deserve the support of your group. After yesterday, they just needed a bit of a push to fully lift the veil.”

“Still,” Johnny said, “thank you.”

“Everyone thought I was a beta,” Kun said, “I presented late and almost all late presenters are betas. And I know omegas definitely have it worse when it comes to harassment, but some of the shit people would say to me was just awful. I still get it a lot, because I’ll be the first to admit I act a lot more like the stereotypical beta than I do like an alpha. I hated watching you have to go through all of that and I just wanted to do what I could within company permission to make it better.” Johnny didn’t really know what to say to that, but Kun seemed to understand anyway.

“You don’t have to force yourself to fit some little bubble or character,” he said, “alphas have been allowed to be whoever they want to be forever and it’s time betas and omegas get afforded that same privilege. You’re doing a good thing, Johnny, and you’re gonna make a lot of kids proud to be who they are.”


End file.
